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KALAMAZOO - Shocking news today in Kalamazoo, MI, as a WOMAN, that's right, a HUMAN FEMALE, attempted to play a video game.
Mrs. Brianna Poole, a Michigan native, heard from a male friend that video games are fun. While no woman has yet to successfully play a video game other than Nintendogs, she still decided that she would try her hand at the much more complicated, Killzone 2.
Mrs. Poole got into traditional female gaming clothing, a skimpy tank top and bikini bottoms, and started a mission.
That is, she would have started a mission, had she been able to figure out how to turn on the Xbox 360.
"I just don't get it. Videos games is be sooooo hard, and I'm just a silly woman." said Brianna when asked about her ordeal, and then gently caressed her bossom with chocolate covered strawberries. She continued "I think that I'll stick to being objectified for the enjoyment of men, afterall, thats what gets to the frontpage of Digg."
At TwoBitNews.com, we believe that one day, ONE DAY, if we keep the dream alive, a woman may be able to figure out how to play a video game.
In the historic words of Martin Luther King, Jr "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of it's creed: 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and women can also be pretty decent at video games.'" [Editors Note: He didn't say that exactly.]