Left 4 Dead: The Movie Casting

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December 5, 2008 by Micah Bleich

With all of the top video games these days getting made into movies, it's only a matter of time before Hollywood somehow ruins Left4Dead on the big screen (ok, there are a few decent video game movies, but they are few and far between.)

Some other sites have covered this same idea, but they're not nearly as fucking insane as we are, so hopefully we can present a cast that will keep you all happy.

But hey, the best part is, if we can't, you get to trash talk us in the comments!

Louis - Taye Diggs

Left4Dead Casting - Taye Diggs As Louis

Ok, so we're starting off with the most boring, with Taye Diggs as Louis. But c'mon, look at them, it's a perfect fit. Plus if he can help Stella Get Her Groove Back by fondling her old vagina, then he can certaintly handle a few zombies breathing down his neck.

Honorable Mention: Morgan Freeman. Just cuz he's in pretty much every movie that can cast an african-american.

Left4Dead Casting - Morgan Freeman

 

Francis - Billy Mays

Left4Dead Casting - Billy Mays as Francis

YOU GOTTA CHECK OUT FRANCIS IN LEFT4DEAD, IT'S THE BEST MOVIE EVER. AND THATS NOT ALL, IF YOU DON'T BUY THIS GAME, I'M GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND MURDER YOUR FAMILY!

We're ok with the fact that we used the old way Francis looked during game development, because theres nobody more bad-ass than Mr. Orange Glow himself, Billy Mays.

 

Bill - Nick Nolte

Left4Dead Casting - Nick Nolte as Bill

You wanna tell this guy he's not perfect for your movie? Good luck, we'll get a body bag ready for you. Plus he's got that perfect old man crazy-chic going on. AND LOOK AT THAT MAGNIFICENT BEARD.

 

Zoey - Suri Cruise

Left4Dead Casting - Suri Cruise as Zoey

PERFECT MATCH. One is a hot young gun carrying heroine with zombies stalking her, the other is a young hot pacifier slinging kid whose parents probably abuse heroine.

 

There you have it, the TwoBitNews casting of the Left4Dead movie. You may disagree, but we're pretty sure you're wrong.

 

Your rating: None Average: 7 (3 votes)

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