Gamestop Gives Away Free Heroin

user warning: Unknown column 'u.signature_format' in 'field list' query: SELECT c.cid as cid, c.pid, c.nid, c.subject, c.comment, c.format, c.timestamp, c.name, c.mail, c.homepage, u.uid, u.name AS registered_name, u.signature, u.signature_format, u.picture, u.data, c.thread, c.status FROM comments c INNER JOIN users u ON c.uid = u.uid WHERE c.nid = 273 AND c.status = 0 ORDER BY c.cid LIMIT 0, 10 in /home5/carefree/public_html/twobitnews/modules/comment/comment.module on line 991.

March 3, 2009 by Micah Bleich

Gamestop gives away free heroin

BREA - Local GameStop in a Brea, CA mall has noticed a considerable drop-off in used game sales with the slowdown of the economy. They have tried many different campaigns including the oft seen 25% off used game coupons, and buy one get one free fliers. Nothing was working...until now!

Who would have guessed the popularity of the churned poppy product, heroin? They are giving out free packets of heroin with a game purchase of equal or greater value (which constitutes approximately 25 used Xbox games in price).

Besides just being a nice benefit for adults, as well as a special treat for the kiddies, the strong hallucinogenic properties of the "freebie" makes the graphics of every game seem so much better, as well as making load and install times much more profitable. This should considerably boost the sales of PC and PS3 games, as well as crap nobody would buy before (we're talking to you The Incredible Hulk).

So get yourself into that store right now, because I was there eariler, and now I'm being told by a magical flying miniature elephant that supplies won't last long!

Your rating: None Average: 3.8 (5 votes)

Features

Top 5 Events You Shouldn't Invite Your WoW Guild To

March 11, 2009 by Micah Bleich

You love your guildmates, well, as much as you can love people you mostly only interact with online anyways, but what if you did see them more off-line? We'd like to help you avoid ruining your life as much as possible, so here is a list of the 5 events you probably shouldn't bring them to.

Image of Dancing Dwarf from WoWguru.com

Your rating: None Average: 6.9 (105 votes)

Top Ten Things You Can Learn By Watching Red Vs. Blue

February 9, 2009 by SSXallnight

Any gamer worth his snuff is familiar with Red Vs. Blue, but not a lot of people realize the educational value of the Halo-based machinima. If you're one of the unfortunates who isn't cool enough to know about the hilarious internet series; here is a list of things you would know if you didn't spend so much time doing your homework or actually showing up on time to your job.

Your rating: None Average: 7.4 (14 votes)

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

November 29, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Your rating: None Average: 7.5 (30 votes)